Day 274: Cows? seriously?

Last night, I had to take the dog to the kennel for the Thanksgiving break. The only kennel I could find with an opening was in Gatesville. The owner misquoted the travel time as 30-45 minutes. So I figured with decent traffic and such, it might take me an hour to an hour an a half to get the dog to the kennel and get home.

MMmmm - can we say NOT!!! First, the road she suggested was the short cut took me through winding hilly road with signs like, "Military Area: Explosives, Use road at own risk." Yes, that was very comforting when out in the middle of nowhere. If I hadn't been using my phone as a GPS, I would have called someone to let them know where to look for my body. Then the road I was on was closed and required a detour, which took me so far off course that I kept thinking I had to be lost. Then the next little orange arrow would show up and tell me to keep on keepin' on. Then the road was so steep in places that I literally could not see if the road turned until halfway down the hill. I spent half the trip feeling like I was on a roller coaster, which was extra fun with a 50 lb. dog who couldn't anticipate the dips and would fall off the back seat into my seat scaring the bejeezus out of both of us.

Then I saw it, a cow crossing sign. "Ah, I remember someone telling me to be careful because if you hit a cow, you have to pay for it," I thought, but pretty much didn't expect to see any. Until they were these GIGANTIC longhorns just grazing a foot or two from my car as I was doing the 50 MPH recommended by the signs. YIKES! Talk about scary. I have seen what hitting a deer can do, I can't even imagine the wreckage an animal at least 2 1/2 times the weight and skeletal height could do at 50 or so MPH. And it wasn't just one or two. I spent the next thirty minutes of this supposed short cut holding my breath as I passed small herds.


The darker it got, the scarier the twisty cow-ridden road got. Then the mapquest failed in its attempt to get me anywhere near my target destination. I spent an extra twenty minutes driving around in circles. Then had to fill out paperwork and debate running to an ATM for the deposit they forgot to ask me for in the first place.

I took the "long" way home, which was negligibly different and significantly easier and less cow populated. Not getting home until 7:30 with the baby unfed, me unfed, boarding passes to print, suitcases and carry-ons to pack and a baby who started screaming so fiercely that I thought she might hurt herself until she knocked herself out, made me a tad bit panicked.

I tried to plan ahead and get things taken care of in a reasonable time frame, but I never planned for cows. Luckily a friend was able to drop everything for an hour and hold Lil Bit for me while she ate and I took care of a few big things. Was everything perfectly ready for today? Nah, but we'll live and I will take out enough cash from the ATM to buy anything I forgot. Sometimes just being able to say fuggetaboutit is worth a few bucks.

Safe Travels everyone and please, be patient with crying babies. We moms have it hard enough already without worrying about YOUR trip too.

Day 310: Scary

Last night, my daughter was a little bit fussy when it came time for bed because she had napped on and off all day. She still sleeps pretty much when she is tired. I know some people get their kids on a schedule, but I figure that much of the schedule will take care of itself if you stick to a routine, but on the weekends, I let her do what she needs to do.

She ate a really big dinner, carrots, green beans, oatmeal with bananas and seemed fine. I gave her part of a bottle before bed and she fell asleep watching her mobile. I finished what I was working on and went to bed. Around 12:45, I heard screaming. I had forgotten to turn on the receiver for the baby monitor again. I am so tired I honestly forget many nights, but I usually wake up and turn it on sometime in the first hour or two. Last night, I could hear her no problem through the entire house. It was blood curdling.

We haven't had a night of crying since July. I put her down, she sleeps. If she wakes for a bottle, she kinda of whines for a few minutes and if I don't respond, she might give a quick wail to make sure I know she's serious. She rarely cries. Often she will grunt/whine a few times and put herself back to sleep. If she really needs to eat, I will feed her and back to sleep she goes. She slept until 10:20 on Saturday morning.

Last night, I found her in her crib just flailing around, screaming. I picked her up and she seemed to calm for a second and then the screaming resumed. It was so scary. I didn't know what to do. After rocking and bouncing and walking, I felt her stomach which seemed tight, so I gave her some of her tummy drops and placed a warmed rice pillow on her stomach. After rocking and shushing and some spitting up, she finally drifted back to sleep. But watching this tiny person scream like that was so scary. She couldn't tell me what was wrong or where it hurt. I didn't know if it was an emergency or just gas. She wasn't feverish but that was about all I could really check.

I was very proud of myself when my mommy instincts were right and she went back to sleep, but the fear I had for her was so palpable. All I wanted to do was hold and comfort her. I was pretty proud of myself for not panicking even though the crying lasted an hour, and I figured out what to do. I felt terrified and helpless then empowered. Being a parent is so much guessing and flying by the seat of your pants. Several times though I really wished Chad was home. Having someone else to share ideas and concerns can make you feel so less alone. I had no idea what I needed to do. It was so bad I considered the ER. If it hadn't gotten better when it did, I would have been the crazy lady in the ER in her nightie!

It was one rough night in months, but it does serve to remind me that this little life is still so delicately balanced and I need to be informed and ready for anything. Parenting is like one continuous minefield and even when you're getting it mostly right, someone will come along and tell you all the ways you're doing it wrong. Not sure which is scarier, worrying about being a great parent or all the people who don't. Mmm - now, that is scary.