Day 42: Opsec

Today was my husband's regimental town hall meeting about redeployment (which contrarily to how it sounds, means coming home). It was pretty cool. They did a webcast, so I got to stay home and watch the meeting. Unfortunately the posted time until broadcast was incorrect and I missed the first part of the meeting, but I think I got the gist.

The one part of the meeting that they took more care to discuss than previous units have, was OpSec, or operational security for those of you unfamiliar with the millions of army acronyms. We always have to be cautious about what we say over the phone, on email or social media (like Facebook or blogs) but especially about issues involving travel or missions.

While it seems crazy to us here in America, but especially on or near a military post where the patriotism runs very high, there are people out there who look to hurt America any way they can. They monitor email and Facebook and search for information that might help them. I watch my readership and know that people all over the world check out my blog, who's to say that they are just readers? I certainly can't know that.

While no one likes an alarmist, no of us want to be responsible for hurting our soldiers. I'm not sure who was leading the webcast since I came in late and he wasn't familiar to me, but even he said that this deployment has been rougher than anyone anticipated and more intense than previous deployments. He didn't elaborate, but based on what my husband has said, it has been much more violent and mentally challenging. We have to take this threat seriously.

It might be a 1% chance that something one of the family members says would ever get read by an unfriendly, but that is enough to get my attention. Honestly, it could be 75%. I really have no idea, but my soldier's safety is worth taking extra precautions. I can't imagine the horror that something a wife or father or sister says could cause an attack on a plane full of soldiers heading home.

So my countdown remains inaccurate. We have a pretty good idea that he will be home earlier than he left and my countdown is based on the date he left last year, but I'm not going to change my countdown. As it gets closer, I will write about things that relate to the return, but I won't put one or zero until the regiment posts on Facebook the Welcome Home ceremony and he lands in Maine (on American soil).

Unfortunately, as we found on Fort Hood last November, sometimes the people we trust (like a military doctor who ended up shooting fellow soldiers and medical personnel) can be the very people we should be afraid of. It isn't ridiculous to limit conversations about returns, just playing it safe and that is what OpSec is all about.

Day 76: Deploying soldiers with PTSD

I helped out a friend today. She is having a hard time because she is separating from her husband. She is extremely private about their relationship and what is going on with them, but told me that her husband is experiencing bouts of aggression and hostility. He has been deployed twice I think. Even an armchair psychiatrist could take a stab that he has some sort of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or similar combat-related issue.

When she told me that he was deploying again within the month, after depicting his current treatment as significant, I was flabbergasted. He is getting shots of some sort to medicate him and seeing a therapist three times a week. His anger and violence are so bad that she is afraid to let him spend unsupervised time with his own children. But the army is sending him back?

This is a marriage that from an outside perspective was very close and happy just a few short years ago, maybe just a deployment ago. They have a 14 month old son who was very much wanted and planned. So we know they felt their marriage was pretty good as recently as two years ago when he was conceived. In that time frame, her husband has been deployed again. Maybe that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I don't really know their marriage, but I do know that this is someone who is a danger to his own very sweet children and wife and the army is sending him back to war next month.

This is just one story of many. People are coming home from this war broken. And being asked to act as if nothing had happened. While the Army claims they want to support the personnel and make sure help is available, not enough is being done to make the help truly available. The help is never truly private. You are stigmatized and shunned for even inquiring about mental health help. Your career in the military is basically over because you will be over looked for promotion due to the black mark on your record.

So what do people do? They drink and get DWIs. They hit their wives and children because they can't diffuse the anger inside them. They self-destruct with money, drugs, women. They pull the trigger of a gun pointed at their heads. And the army throws its hands up and says, "WHY?!?!?"

Seriously? Whose head is up their ass? You can't ask people to go through over and over and over what they do and not offer them real therapy and help with TRUE PRIVACY. In fact, the help should probably be somewhat mandatory. If you've done a tour with any action, you have to attend some sort of session once a week or month to talk about what you saw, felt, missed from home, etc. It can't hurt. Then the therapists can see people who might need extra help and target them without the stigma.

The government is talking a lot about cutting military pay. But the truth is our service members are sacrificing more than just time, safety, comfort. They are sacrificing their sanity. As I found in an article by Belleruth Naparstek much earlier this deployment that almost 100% of soldiers will experience PTSD symptoms after a single combat action or stressor situation (often witnessing bomb blasts or car crashes that are not active combat scenarios). They they experience it close to every day while deployed. More needs to be done to help soldiers deal with the absolutely normal reaction of horror and self-loathing and anger and fear that follows combat. While researching this blog, I came across an article from last fall. So much of what needs to be said, of what I wanted to say is in this article. Much of this article sounded like it was coming straight from my head.

US soldier refused Afghan deployment over PTSD

I understand that if soldiers can claim to have invisible symptoms of post traumatic stress to avoid deploying, some might, a few would. The Army had many soldiers use "being gay" to get released from service commitments. So they have to err on the side of being strict about allowing soldiers to use PTSD to avoid deployments. But when a soldier shows such significant and obvious symptoms, is being treated in what in my humble lay opinion is a quite serious manner, someone needs to raise a red flag and say, "No, this isn't OK!" Deploying a soldier who is obviously so wounded that he has destroyed the one thing that once mattered to him more than his own life, just doesn't make sense.

Is this soldier going to make sound split-second decisions in the field? Is he going to be a supportive team member for his other soldiers? Is his anger going to make the life of his roommate miserable and add exponential stress on another soldier trying to cope with an unstable, hostile, and depressed roommate? My husband had a roommate like that two deployments ago, and that was harder on him than the war. He had nowhere safe to withdraw or unwind. His room was a torture chamber full of hidden land mines and violence. I didn't know if he was going to be able to stand it for the year. He called me at the end of his rope many times because he couldn't handle it and wanted to be a good friend, but the psychotic episodes were dangerous, were seeping into their work and weren't healthy.

Post Traumatic Stress is a real issue. Why are we allowing the military to treat it any less than the very serious issue it is. The service members need access to true help without stigma and without the loss of face/honor within their ranks. And why are we allowing them to send sick men to war? where their stress makes them a risk to themselves and everyone around them? I wouldn't want him standing next to my husband! You?

Day 79: Thanks CNN

This morning I woke up and started the coffee pot, grabbed the baby for breakfast and didn't check email or Facebook until we'd been up an hour. I had message on Facebook from my MIL asking if Chad was OK. Apparently she was watching the news, and CNN was reporting the following:

Baghdad (CNN) -- Five U.S. servicemembers were killed Monday in central Iraq, the U.S. military said in a written statement.

The deaths are the single largest loss of life among U.S. troops in Iraq since 2009, and they come as Iraq debates whether to request U.S. troops stay beyond a January 1, 2012, deadline that requires 46,000 American forces out of the country.

The U.S. military did not say how or where the five died.

But two Iraqi security officials told CNN Monday that the servicemembers were killed during an early morning mortar attack at a U.S. military base in southeastern Baghdad. You can read the rest by clicking on the link - CNN story.

My heart immediately sank. I know that my husband is near that area, depending on how accurate they are being with location. Although I am not exactly sure where because all the maps of bases and posts that used to be available online have been removed (for obvious reasons). I also know they've been dealing with increased mortars and IEDs.

THIS IS WHY I DON'T WATCH THE NEWS!!! I am not usually one to freak out, but this really has me thrown for a loop. I haven't heard from him today and the news isn't releasing any new information about where or which troops were killed until the families are notified. He called his son yesterday for his birthday and had a terrible connection, I'm told, but other than that I didn't hear from him since lunchtime on Saturday.

I am pinning my hopes on the fact that I am not hard to find, and if they were trying to notify me, I think they would have been here already. But I can't get the sick feeling out of my stomach. In a few hours, I may have an email from my husband and feel very silly for getting so upset, but right now, I hate to admit it, but I am terrified. I hope to feel very ridiculous.

In an effort to find out what is happening, I contacted our FRG leader (family readiness group) to ask what she had heard. She said she hadn't heard anything, which is kind of good news, but would call our Rear D (rear detachment are the troops who maintain operations back home, keep open communications between spouses and troops, etc.) I spent the next three hours checking my email every five seconds. She answered me very quickly about making the call and then nothing. I really got worried then. She might not email me back if it was our troops and/or my husband because they will only notify people in person.

I literally started paying attention to cars outside the house, left my computer open so I could see the second I had an email. Nothing for hours. I was drying my hair watching Lil Bit play in her exer-saucer and my emotions got the better of me. I couldn't imagine her facing the rest of her life without her dad. I couldn't imagine trying to be a mom in the midst of grieving. In my head, I am picturing the complete meltdown I would face and then having to be strong for her.

It was a LONG four hours. I finally saw my husband's roommate online on FB chat. I quickly asked him if they were OK. He answered that they were fine, a little irritated that their internet was down, but otherwise, just fine. I was very relieved. I let my family and friends know that he was OK, but just as quickly realized that five wives were still getting the devastating news that their husbands weren't coming home and five more that their spouses were injured.

My FRG leader still hasn't emailed back which makes me think it might have been some of our group, if not my husband's troop. I spent four hours imagining the worst, which is WHY I DON'T WATCH THE NEWS!!! I still had hope that it wasn't my soldier so I don't exactly know how it would feel, but a glimpse into that horror was more than I ever want to experience again!

My heart aches for those spouses and families. I don't know how you would deal with such earth shattering grief. All I can do is pray for them and for safety for the rest of our forces as the insurgents try to increase the violence to take credit for driving American forces out of the country. My countdown to welcoming him home is more real to me than ever. I am still hopeful that he will be home earlier than a year. In fact, I think he is supposed to be home a week earlier than he left last year, but I am not changing my count. I am counting down until he is home. When he gets on a plane, I will update to one day left. But I refuse to chance jinxing anything. 

Day 86: Memorial Day

Today, while you plan a cookout, I hope my husband has a chance to get on chat later if he survives his mission today. Wives, sisters, mothers, husbands, fathers, and children of service members will spend today mourning the loss of their soldiers or worrying about their safety.

I have to admit until I was an army wife, Memorial Day was not really on my radar. I knew we honored fallen soldiers, but it mostly meant the beginning of summer. But today, as I count the days until my husband comes home, it means a lot more. Everyday I wake up and check my email I know he was safe at least a few hours ago. This morning, his email came in at 4:38 a.m. But I will hold my breath just a little bit until he is back within the wire and I hear from him again.

The conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan aren't always in the news anymore, and, unfortunately, the American public has a very short attention span. If it isn't front page, top stories, headlines, we forget. People are still dying and getting injured everyday. As recently as last Monday, soldiers died in combat.

The following is a list of service members who have made the ultimate sacrifice just this month, courtesy of Faces of the Fallen.

Staff Sgt. Kristofferson B. Lorenzo

Hometown:Chula Vista, California, U.S.
Age:33 years old
Died:May 23, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Army, 2nd Battalion, 27th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii
Incident: Died in Kunar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their unit with a makeshift bomb.

Pfc. William S. Blevins

Hometown:Sardinia, Ohio, U.S.
Age:21 years old
Died:May 23, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Army, 2nd Battalion, 27th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii
Incident: Died in Kunar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their unit with a makeshift bomb.

Pvt. Andrew M. Krippner

Hometown:Garland, Texas, U.S.
Age:20 years old
Died:May 23, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Army, 2nd Battalion, 27th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii
Incident: Died in Kunar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their unit with a makeshift bomb.

Pvt. Thomas C. Allers

Hometown:Plainwell, Michigan, U.S.
Age:23 years old
Died:May 23, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Army, 2nd Battalion, 27th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii
Incident: Died in Kunar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their unit with a makeshift bomb.

Sgt. 1st Class Clifford E. Beattie

Hometown:Medical Lake, Washington, U.S.
Age:37 years old
Died:May 22, 2011 in Operation Iraqi Freedom.
Unit:Army, 1st Battalion, 63rd Armor, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Riley, Kan.
Incident: Died in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their unit with a makeshift bomb.

Pfc. Ramon Mora Jr.

Hometown:Ontario, California, U.S.
Age:19 years old
Died:May 22, 2011 in Operation Iraqi Freedom.
Unit:Army, 1st Battalion, 63rd Armor, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Riley, Kan.
Incident: Died in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their unit with a makeshift bomb.

Cpl. Brandon M. Kirton

Hometown:Centennial, Ohio, U.S.
Age:25 years old
Died:May 18, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Army, 2nd Battalion, 502nd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division, Fort Campbell, Ky.
Incident: Died in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit with small arms fire and mortar rounds.

Staff Sgt. David D. Self

Hometown:Pearl, Mississippi, U.S.
Age:29 years old
Died:May 16, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Army, Fires Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, Vilseck, Germany
Incident: Died of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit using a makeshift bomb in Zabul province, Afghanistan.

Spec. Bradley l. Melton

Hometown:Rolla, Missouri, U.S.
Age:29 years old
Died:May 16, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Army, Brigade Troops Battalion, 1st Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Fort Wainwright, Anchorage, Alaska
Incident: Died of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit using an improvised explosive device in Zabul province, Afghanistan.

Pvt. Lamarol J. Tucker

Hometown:Gainesville, Florida, U.S.
Age:26 years old
Died:May 16, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Army, Brigade Troops Battalion, 1st Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Fort Wainwright, Anchorage, Alaska

Incident: Died of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit using an improvised explosive device in Zabul province, Afghanistan.

Pvt. Cheizray Pressley

Hometown:North Charleston, South Carolina, U.S.
Age:21 years old
Died:May 16, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Army, Brigade Troops Battalion, 1st Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Fort Wainwright, Anchorage, Alaska
Incident: Died of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit using an improvised explosive device in Zabul province, Afghanistan.

Spec. Brian D. Riley Jr.

Hometown:Longwood, Florida, U.S.
Age:24 years old
Died:May 15, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Army, 2nd Battalion, 35th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii.
Incident: Died in Kunar province, Afghanistan.

Sgt. Amaru Aguilar

Hometown:Miami, Florida, U.S.
Age:26 years old
Died:May 13, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Army, 4th Squadron, 4th Cavalry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Riley, Kan.
Incident: Died at Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when his unit encountered small arms fire.

Sgt. Kevin B. Balduf

Hometown:Nashville, Tennessee, U.S.
Age:27 years old
Died:May 12, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Marines, 8th Communications Battalion, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
Incident: Died while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan.

Lt. Col. Benjamin J. Palmer

Hometown:Modesto, California, U.S.
Age:43 years old
Died:May 12, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Marines, Marine Wing Headquarters Squadron 2, 2
Incident: Died while supporting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan.

1st Lt. Demetrius M. Frison

Hometown:Lancaster, Pennsylvania, U.S.
Age:26 years old
Died:May 10, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Army, 1st Battalion, 26th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Knox, Ky.
Incident: Died in Khost province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using a makeshift bomb.

Sgt. Ken K. Hermogino

Hometown:Edwards Air Force Base, California, U.S.
Age:30 years old
Died:May 9, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Army, 7th Squadron, 10th Cavalry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.
Incident: Died in Herat province, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained in a non-combat related vehicle accident.

Spec. Riley S. Spaulding

Hometown:Sheridan, Texas, U.S.
Age:21 years old
Died:May 4, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Army, 2nd Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, Vilseck, Germany
Incident: Died in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained in a non-combat incident.

Cpl. Kevin W. White

Hometown:Westfield, New York, U.S.
Age:22 years old
Died:May 2, 2011 in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Unit:Army, 2nd Battalion, 35th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii
Incident: Died in Kunar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using a makeshit bomb.

Please remember as you barbecue burgers, crack open a beer that the families of these men are still in the raw stages of grief. It probably doesn't even feel real yet that they aren't ever coming home. Most of them had months left on their tours so their families wouldn't have been expecting them for awhile yet. There is just an emptiness where hope once lived. As the families and friends around them prepare welcome home ceremonies, their grief will feel fresh once again.

I can't imagine the terrible emptiness of never being able to hold my husband again, feeling like we never got to say good-bye, even though we type "I love you" every time we can. And there are literally over 6,000 families who have suffered that devastating loss since these Middle Eastern conflicts began. Take a second to pray for peace for those families and safety for those still serving. And the families back home who worry, we need some prayers too.

Day 157: Sisters in Entry, Heart and Texas

There are some very unique challenges to being a military dependent; some seasons are full of growth, some of pruning. Joys and sorrows often intertwine. I have been married to my soldier for 4 years; in that time we have been together for about 2 of them, thanks to trainings, a tour in Korea, and 9 months in Afghanistan.

We are currently in a season of joyful blessing. We expect Jonathan Joshua to be delivered to us between 3-6 weeks. It may seem like a long variance, but FedEx can’t do any better and they are professionals. At least FedEx guarantees arrival before 10:00 am.

Last night I saw about half of a show called “Coming Home”, where we see reunions between soldiers and family members that have been orchestrated by a team to be unforgettable for the children. The first story I saw was that of a high school senior, a football superstar who was about to sign on for a full ride to the college of his choice. His father, the fan always yelling, “That’s my boy!” has been deployed to Afghanistan for the year. As Jeremiah sat and the end of the long signing table, he proudly signed on with the US Naval Academy. A powerful, “That’s my boy!” rang out, and two men embraced and cried in a way that radiated maturity and honor.

The words that caught my attention before the big reveal were, “JJ has no idea that his father will be returning from Afghanistan for his big signing day.”

My husband has been told he will be sent home for the birth of our son, but it will be at the 39/40 week mark. I have no details or assurance other than that. I have prepared for all scenarios to the best of my ability, but the potential for Josh’s absence has been something I have kept mostly confined to my mind. Last night it hit my heart in full force. This is an event that I can’t bear for my beloved to miss for his sake, as much as for mine. I know I have the strength and fortitude for this task if need be, but it would break my husband’s heart to miss the event he has dreamed of for years. 

For the sake of time and concern over his bringing home onto the battlefield, our conversations about emotions tied to the event have been somewhat rare. I send pictures of my ever-expanding waistline and tell him of what our son did that day or how he is getting ready, but I am not sure what is going on in the head and heart of my soldier. (Every military wife must understands that!) today I have a new rawness of heart. Just as the mission and the events of life must be battled through on the battlefield, it eventually catches up. Last night I began the process of realizing all I have not allowed my heart to prepare for as I have waited for my soldier to be a part, not knowing if it is possible. Hope is a powerful thing.

It is the deep desire of my heart that I see the man I love walk toward me in uniform and embrace my engorged belly. A few days of time just with him before our lives change forever is almost too much to hope for.

**                           **                             **

My tears are for how she struggles alone with the fears of losing her husband plus his missing out on those moments she has dreamt of sharing with the man of her dreams. God bless you, honey. Again - I know!!!!!

Day 362: the news

I check my email first thing and spam, spam, spam, Chad! Yay! While I knew he was safe, it is nice to hear the details. He has his first cold of the deployment. I don't know if he gets sick more often in Iraq or is more aware of it because he has nothing to take his mind off of it. Poor baby. When he is sick enough to take medicine, I know it's bad. I wait to reply until I can get to the computer. Typing an entire email on my cell is less than ideal. But even reading his email puts me behind schedule and I must have spaced out in the shower, because at 7:30, I am just running out the door. Why do I do this to myself, try to fit ten activities into five minutes? and schedule myself down to the last second? I don't know why I keep doing it when I know it makes me run late, but I can't seem to stop. I do make it to work on time, but barely.

I take a second to catch up on Facebook and see several military wives are hearing some of the same things I am. "Why is your husband going to Iraq? I thought all the combat troops were home." It feels like a punch in the chest when I hear that, like somehow my husband's sacrifice this year won't count as much because people don't know about the troops that are still there and still transitioning INTO country.  I make it a point NOT to watch the news while he is gone because every roadside bomb sends my heart into a tailspin until I hear his voice again, so I don't know if it is ignorant reporting or crappy listening, but why don't most people know that no one extra came home. Soldiers scheduled to finish their tours came home, but all the hoopla over bringing the last combat troops home is ridiculous. All they did was say some of the troops are now support personnel. I know people who were combat troops one day and "not" the next. We are still sending people over there. It is still dangerous. They still need rifles, pistols, hand grenades, but are primarily supporting and training the Iraqi army and police to take over fighting the insurgents. I guess I am partially angry at the blatant propaganda that is deliberately slanted to misguide the American people into feeling good that that Iraq war thing is over and partially upset that people continue to talk about things of which they are ignorant. I don't understand the details of many things and sometimes am guilty of complaining about how things are done, but when people criticize the army or the soldiers and don't have a clue what they are talking about, it makes my blood boil!

Yes, they get paid and we do get free health care during active duty, but that doesn't change the fact that these men and women were not drafted into the military. They volunteered to put themselves into harm's path for the rest of us, just like a police officer or fire fighter. The pay they receive seems to be pretty average overall and the extra combat/hazardous duty pay is a few hundred dollars a month. We couldn't live on just his salary without cutting back significantly but he makes about what I do. Of course that could just mean both teachers and soldiers are REALLY underpaid.

I hear more people say ignorant things about soldiers than anything else. Like someone close to me suggested, not to my face luckily for her sake, that my husband must want to be away from his family all the time to keep getting deployed. They don't have a choice. Some duties do not deploy and there are circumstances under which a soldier ends up non-deployable or in a garrison post, but if your unit is slated to go, you go, whether it is your first, third, or fifth deployment.

Not all soldiers are perfect or even good people, but a majority of them are heroic by nature and heroes by choice just for going over there so we don't have to. Take a second to mentally or physically thank a soldier or his/her family today. I am sacrificing the day to day moments with my husband that most people take for granted. He is risking his life and leaving behind most of the things that the rest of us would consider elemental to our cores. He doesn't get to hunt or fish or eat dinner with his family. He doesn't get to sleep in on the weekends, or ever. He works 19 hour days without relief with basically frozen dinners for every meal. He misses his favorite TV shows and Christmas every other year. It is a sacrifice you wouldn't make, so don't disrespect those who do. Disagree with the politics all you want, but thank a soldier for the right to do so.