Yesterday I asked my husband what was the reintegration training he did. He said nothing, we're done with that. He was supposed to be in reintegration for three weeks.
He did about 5-6 days of reintegration training. I'm not exactly sure what they did or what else I would recommend, but considering he spent a year in a war zone, five days doesn't seem to cut it.
He came home acting almost as if he'd never left, almost. But not quite. We're doing alright. Things have been a little crazy. We had a house full of people, then both had to go back to work, and he was extremely sick, passing it onto me. I'm still sick. Getting us back to normal is hard to do until things have actually gone back to normal.
But I think we're doing well. I do know that Chad is still processing a lot of changes. He still feels strange in his own home, guilty for being here. The army did the bare minimum of training to remove liability if a soldier loses control and beats his wife, screams at his kids, kicks his dog, or kills himself.
They've come a long way in helping soldiers deal with the stress of combat and reintegrating into their homes, but soldiers are increasingly struggling with stress disorders and difficulties brought on by repeated deployments. They need newer tools to deal with newer issues.
Even my husband made a point to say that he thought that dealing with deployment stress and reintegrating would get easier since he's done it so many times, but that isn't the case. It actually gets harder. One trip overseas feels like a long nightmare, but three, four, five starts to feel like your whole life.
I know that in some ways this deployment was easier for me because I knew what emotions I would face. I knew what to avoid and how to prepare myself for difficult times. But in some ways it was the hardest. The more he's been gone, the more it feels like he's always gone and the more I worry that this will be the time he doesn't come back.
I think the army needs to recognize the different stresses placed on a soldier and his/her family after repeated separations and deployments. They've worked so hard to deal with the rise in suicides and prevent domestic violence, but it has been mostly reactionary. The military needs to get ahead of the curve and start putting soldiers through something deeper than the death by powerpoint reintegration training they do now.
I don't know what that might or should look like, but I think even the most well adjusted soldiers need more than a power point after a year in hell. I know the wives could benefit from some joint sessions as well. The marriage retreat we went on just before he left was helpful but barely scratched the surface. I wish we could have a week of more intensive reintegration with counselors in smaller sessions.
The army did what they have to do to be able to say, "It's not our problem" when guys lose it. I just wish they could find a way to do enough that there isn't a problem at all.
He did about 5-6 days of reintegration training. I'm not exactly sure what they did or what else I would recommend, but considering he spent a year in a war zone, five days doesn't seem to cut it.
He came home acting almost as if he'd never left, almost. But not quite. We're doing alright. Things have been a little crazy. We had a house full of people, then both had to go back to work, and he was extremely sick, passing it onto me. I'm still sick. Getting us back to normal is hard to do until things have actually gone back to normal.
But I think we're doing well. I do know that Chad is still processing a lot of changes. He still feels strange in his own home, guilty for being here. The army did the bare minimum of training to remove liability if a soldier loses control and beats his wife, screams at his kids, kicks his dog, or kills himself.
They've come a long way in helping soldiers deal with the stress of combat and reintegrating into their homes, but soldiers are increasingly struggling with stress disorders and difficulties brought on by repeated deployments. They need newer tools to deal with newer issues.
Even my husband made a point to say that he thought that dealing with deployment stress and reintegrating would get easier since he's done it so many times, but that isn't the case. It actually gets harder. One trip overseas feels like a long nightmare, but three, four, five starts to feel like your whole life.
I know that in some ways this deployment was easier for me because I knew what emotions I would face. I knew what to avoid and how to prepare myself for difficult times. But in some ways it was the hardest. The more he's been gone, the more it feels like he's always gone and the more I worry that this will be the time he doesn't come back.
I think the army needs to recognize the different stresses placed on a soldier and his/her family after repeated separations and deployments. They've worked so hard to deal with the rise in suicides and prevent domestic violence, but it has been mostly reactionary. The military needs to get ahead of the curve and start putting soldiers through something deeper than the death by powerpoint reintegration training they do now.
I don't know what that might or should look like, but I think even the most well adjusted soldiers need more than a power point after a year in hell. I know the wives could benefit from some joint sessions as well. The marriage retreat we went on just before he left was helpful but barely scratched the surface. I wish we could have a week of more intensive reintegration with counselors in smaller sessions.
The army did what they have to do to be able to say, "It's not our problem" when guys lose it. I just wish they could find a way to do enough that there isn't a problem at all.
The stress sounds unimaginable. I will pray for you and your family.
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