So far today, I've managed to hold it together. A few times, the tears loomed. It really helps having the in-laws here. They are keeping us distracted. But I'm really done. I know this is the end. We're almost done. The plane is scheduled, supposedly, and probably being prepped for the tarmac or some crap like that.
But his return flight keeps getting pushed back over and over. The last few days are hard. But it was hard before we got a call telling us he would here Tuesday, 5:30 p.m. So, we get all excited and start psyching ourselves up for that time and date. Then he says, oh, we got pushed back, but we don't know how far yet. So we don't know what to think.
Then, we don't get any further information from the regiment. We didn't get any kind of official call that the flight had been pushed back until two hours before he was supposed to land. I hadn't gotten the 24 hour call and had heard from him that they were most likely delayed, so I wasn't truly expecting him today, but it was still disappointing to hear that he wouldn't be home today.
Then the message we got was disappointing. I really wanted to have him home for my birthday. I was hoping that I might get to have my birthday dinner with him. But does not seem to be in the cards. I know returns are always up in the air, but I don't remember it being like this before. They are trying to keep us super informed, but I'm not sure if that is working out.
We get information, but it changes, then they are being crazy about security, but people are posting all over their facebook information that leaks info. Then they come on yelling about info, but don't just delete the posts themselves. But they can do that and not actually give us any information about my husband's flight. They haven't even listed his flight as existing
I'm just having a hard time holding it together right now. You might not know it to look at me, but I spent today struggling against tears. We were busy. We did lawn work in 100+ degree heat. We pruned bushes and trimmed hedges, weeded the garden and fought the fire ants, repositioned sprinklers and sprayed for pests (mandatory after I saw a gigantic cockroach crawling near the backdoor). We cooked and swam and watched TV and ate ice cream sundaes.
But any time I let my guard down, I felt the emotions start welling up. It is stressful, all the waiting and the inability to plan. I haven't even let myself process how it will feel to actually see him. Technically, my birthday just started. But I have a bad feeling that we won't be getting to spend any of it together and that his flight might get pushed even further back because of people posting specific times on FB. I tried to be vague, but other people posted specifics. And now, they're saying that they'll push your soldier's return back if you post stuff. I'm really trying not to get torked off. I know they are trying to keep the soldiers safe, but if you don't want people to say anything, you probably shouldn't tell them.
It just isn't working as smoothly as they planned. And I'm getting more and more emotional about it all. I'm also having a hard time processing that I have to go to work Monday. I haven't mentally prepared for that at all. I've built up this return and been focused on just getting him home that I haven't really processed going back to work and the things I need to do to be able to do that.
Frankly, inside I feel shattered and trying to hold it together with Elmer's. The emotions of surviving a deployment get heavier some times and as the waiting gets longer and longer, I'm doing whatever I can to make it through until I see his face.
But his return flight keeps getting pushed back over and over. The last few days are hard. But it was hard before we got a call telling us he would here Tuesday, 5:30 p.m. So, we get all excited and start psyching ourselves up for that time and date. Then he says, oh, we got pushed back, but we don't know how far yet. So we don't know what to think.
Then, we don't get any further information from the regiment. We didn't get any kind of official call that the flight had been pushed back until two hours before he was supposed to land. I hadn't gotten the 24 hour call and had heard from him that they were most likely delayed, so I wasn't truly expecting him today, but it was still disappointing to hear that he wouldn't be home today.
Then the message we got was disappointing. I really wanted to have him home for my birthday. I was hoping that I might get to have my birthday dinner with him. But does not seem to be in the cards. I know returns are always up in the air, but I don't remember it being like this before. They are trying to keep us super informed, but I'm not sure if that is working out.
We get information, but it changes, then they are being crazy about security, but people are posting all over their facebook information that leaks info. Then they come on yelling about info, but don't just delete the posts themselves. But they can do that and not actually give us any information about my husband's flight. They haven't even listed his flight as existing
I'm just having a hard time holding it together right now. You might not know it to look at me, but I spent today struggling against tears. We were busy. We did lawn work in 100+ degree heat. We pruned bushes and trimmed hedges, weeded the garden and fought the fire ants, repositioned sprinklers and sprayed for pests (mandatory after I saw a gigantic cockroach crawling near the backdoor). We cooked and swam and watched TV and ate ice cream sundaes.
But any time I let my guard down, I felt the emotions start welling up. It is stressful, all the waiting and the inability to plan. I haven't even let myself process how it will feel to actually see him. Technically, my birthday just started. But I have a bad feeling that we won't be getting to spend any of it together and that his flight might get pushed even further back because of people posting specific times on FB. I tried to be vague, but other people posted specifics. And now, they're saying that they'll push your soldier's return back if you post stuff. I'm really trying not to get torked off. I know they are trying to keep the soldiers safe, but if you don't want people to say anything, you probably shouldn't tell them.
It just isn't working as smoothly as they planned. And I'm getting more and more emotional about it all. I'm also having a hard time processing that I have to go to work Monday. I haven't mentally prepared for that at all. I've built up this return and been focused on just getting him home that I haven't really processed going back to work and the things I need to do to be able to do that.
Frankly, inside I feel shattered and trying to hold it together with Elmer's. The emotions of surviving a deployment get heavier some times and as the waiting gets longer and longer, I'm doing whatever I can to make it through until I see his face.
Happy Birthday! I hope that your husband makes it home safely and SOON. Take some time for yourself today and sit alone. Try not to worry about all the specifics, just think about how your husband will be home so very soon and all of the wonderful times that you are going to have!
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