I haven't seen the movie. With my husband deploying numerous times, I didn't think my emotions could handle watching the movie. I don't think it is some blockbuster Oscar caliber film, but my emotions have been undone by cheesy Hallmark movies many times. Since I haven't seen the movie, I have no idea regarding its accuracy.
The term stop loss is a military term that can extend a service members time in active duty or within a specific regiment/unit. When people enlist in the military, they are really signing over their entire lives for all intents and purposes. The military pretty much owns you, for a long time. The first commitment is usually 8 years. Four of those years are usually active duty, although the active duty component can be as brief as two or as much as six.
Then the rest of that commitment is not active. Sometimes people serve that time in the reserves and sometimes just in an inactive status. It depends on the initial contract and the needs of the army. While the recruit believes that the amount of active duty time is a firm amount, the military can change it at any time. I've even known friends who've been asked to come back to military service ten years after they finished their contracts. Now, those were requests, but within certain guidelines of which I am not well versed, they can compel your return.
Another way the military uses the term stop loss is to eliminate movement within the military. It keeps people in jobs, units, regiments, etc. The military uses this to manage personnel. My husband has been stop-lossed several times.
My husband has been busting his butt to get to his next promotion. To get that promotion, he feels he needs to be a drill instructor. Today he was told that if he didn't have orders to PCS as of today, that he would be stop-lossed in his current regiment/squadron/troop. I have no idea how true this is or will be. The army is a pretty fluid thing until it isn't.
Nothing is a done deal until it is a done deal in writing. But that didn't make getting that news any easier. Yesterday he was told that he might come down on orders late this year and we might PCS (permanent change of station) within a few months of his return or within this year.
While moving is scary, I'm kind of ready for the new adventure. I'm certainly not excited about staying here and spending the next year gearing up for him to leave again. His regiment is already preparing for their next deployment. We really don't have any control over what happens. All he can do is ask, push, file paperwork.
And we wait. But hearing that he might be stop-lossed already, is frustrating and depressing. He's deployed four times. He says this was the worst experience he's ever had in the military. He won't tell me details for security reasons and not to anger anyone who might read this, but I know, he's had some rough experiences. When he says this was the worst, it must have been pretty rough.
I'm not excited about his staying in this unit or regiment. But I'm really not excited about another deployment. Emotionally, it is just devastating to have to start thinking about his leaving again before he is even home. It taints every moment of his return, of the year we get together (minus the months of school, training, etc.) hanging over our heads.
The military life is hard. They own you. You give up complete control of where you live, when you get to be home on a day to day or year to year basis. And even when you think you've got a smidge of control, they take it away. I'm a natural control freak. Ever since meeting my husband, I have struggled with the lack of control I have in my life. It is good for me to learn to deal with being more flexible, but it is really hard especially when it doesn't affect just me, but my husband whose pain is my pain, and my child/ren.
I can't do anything but wait and pray. And hope we get a chance to avoid the Stop Loss.
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