Many people will not understand this entry at all or will think I have a terrible marriage, but if you are a military wife, you will get it.
Before Chad left for Iraq, we were just adjusting to being full time parents together for the first time. While we've had the boys for extended periods of 2 months, they are at a totally different stage and can occupy themselves, dress themselves and feed themselves. Parenting them takes time and energy, but still allowed us to watch a grown-up movie from time to time or sit and talk. Parenting an infant is just a totally different level of constant busyness. Because this summer was all about the baby, we really didn't have much time to connect and get really close emotionally before he left like we have taken the time to do before.
Then this deployment for me has been all about survival, taking care of the baby, my job and if there is time, myself. His situation has been pretty difficult too. He can't talk about a lot of what he does day to day and his off time is very limited. What down or off time he has, he works out in the gym, which is not a terribly exciting conversation topic. So when we get a chance to talk or email, our conversations have been very simple, repetitive and filled with the important "I love you's" but not with deep topics that would normally arise during dinner or watching the news.
And when he got home a week ago, we hit the ground running. We took a very small sliver of time for ourselves, but really he was so drained emotionally and physically from his dad's death and all the travel, he didn't know which way was up. He couldn't process what he was feeling and needed me just to be a waiting shoulder, not pushing him to talk or open up.
The problem is after years of being gone several months a year and completely absent every other year, we have both grown and changed. We still love each other, but need some time to just talk and be silly and get a handle on who we are again as a couple. Last night we took some much needed time for us, but stayed up so late that tonight we took turns falling asleep on the couch.
Then the baby, still adjusting to being home and not quite having the lavish attention of Grandma and Grandpa B., threw a hissy fit at bedtime. I have NEVER seen her in such rare form. She literally screamed herself hoarse, was jumping up and down and eventually pulled an exorcist baby move at the end, which led to Chad pulling everything off the bed, bedskirt, sheet, bumper pads, diaper rags, pjs, and scrubbing the carpet while I changed and consoled her.
Trying to not be heartless but also not completely give into her, I held her until her bed was ready and then put her in it and sat nearby. Who knows what got into her? It was not how I wanted to end my evening and certainly not the romantic evening I was hoping for. I am going to sign off now so I can at least crawl into bed next to my husband before he is gone tomorrow and hope that Lil Bit is asleep enough I can leave her room. Man, I have forgotten how much fun she was after Christmas break and a Monday to boot. Not enough time for US again. I am really crossing my fingers that I have a sitter for Friday night. I need a date with my husband BADLY.
Before Chad left for Iraq, we were just adjusting to being full time parents together for the first time. While we've had the boys for extended periods of 2 months, they are at a totally different stage and can occupy themselves, dress themselves and feed themselves. Parenting them takes time and energy, but still allowed us to watch a grown-up movie from time to time or sit and talk. Parenting an infant is just a totally different level of constant busyness. Because this summer was all about the baby, we really didn't have much time to connect and get really close emotionally before he left like we have taken the time to do before.
Then this deployment for me has been all about survival, taking care of the baby, my job and if there is time, myself. His situation has been pretty difficult too. He can't talk about a lot of what he does day to day and his off time is very limited. What down or off time he has, he works out in the gym, which is not a terribly exciting conversation topic. So when we get a chance to talk or email, our conversations have been very simple, repetitive and filled with the important "I love you's" but not with deep topics that would normally arise during dinner or watching the news.
And when he got home a week ago, we hit the ground running. We took a very small sliver of time for ourselves, but really he was so drained emotionally and physically from his dad's death and all the travel, he didn't know which way was up. He couldn't process what he was feeling and needed me just to be a waiting shoulder, not pushing him to talk or open up.
The problem is after years of being gone several months a year and completely absent every other year, we have both grown and changed. We still love each other, but need some time to just talk and be silly and get a handle on who we are again as a couple. Last night we took some much needed time for us, but stayed up so late that tonight we took turns falling asleep on the couch.
Then the baby, still adjusting to being home and not quite having the lavish attention of Grandma and Grandpa B., threw a hissy fit at bedtime. I have NEVER seen her in such rare form. She literally screamed herself hoarse, was jumping up and down and eventually pulled an exorcist baby move at the end, which led to Chad pulling everything off the bed, bedskirt, sheet, bumper pads, diaper rags, pjs, and scrubbing the carpet while I changed and consoled her.
Trying to not be heartless but also not completely give into her, I held her until her bed was ready and then put her in it and sat nearby. Who knows what got into her? It was not how I wanted to end my evening and certainly not the romantic evening I was hoping for. I am going to sign off now so I can at least crawl into bed next to my husband before he is gone tomorrow and hope that Lil Bit is asleep enough I can leave her room. Man, I have forgotten how much fun she was after Christmas break and a Monday to boot. Not enough time for US again. I am really crossing my fingers that I have a sitter for Friday night. I need a date with my husband BADLY.
Aww I'd take her if we were close enough! I'd probably take her all night! I hope you find someone to help you out!
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