One of the best parts of being an army wife is other army wives who get it. There are those out there who are all about the negativity and the drama, but the great ones hear your hurt and just nod. Sometimes they have never been in your shoes, sometimes they've been there more than you have, but they know that whatever it is, for you right now, it is hard. It doesn't have to be the hardest thing you've ever experienced, sometimes it is just the hardest this week.
Many of my weakest moments come from stupid things. Last night I was putting away baby clothes and a thought crossed my mind that in a few days I will be back to arranging baby outfits for the week ahead just to stay afloat. I will again be all mommy all the time. I started crying when Chad took the boys hunting and I realized how even one evening lost is too many when we only have a few left.
Yesterday I watched Chad giving the baby her evening bottle. She drifted to sleep in his arms. He gently wiped her face and caressed her cheeks not knowing I was watching. It was so gentle and sweet to watch this gruff, rough and tumble guy be so tender with her. As much as he protests he isn't a baby person, I have watched him fall in love with his daughter this last week. It breaks my heart to know that he will miss most of the rest of her infancy. By the next time he sees her, she will be a toddler. He will miss her first steps, her first birthday, but more than those times, he will miss the tiny moments of her silly smiles when she is being flirtatious or the way she claps and dances to music, or the way her eyebrows crinkle when she hears Daddy practice his duck calls.
The moments I think about the moments of his sons' success, Chad missing Trenton's state honor society award and Nathan's first band concert, the moments of missing his Lil Bit, the moments of missing time together as a couple are the moments I find my heart breaking, tears looming. In those moments, sometimes he doesn't even understand how I feel, much like I can't really feel what he does having to leave and say good-bye. But my friends, especially my army wife friends can. Sometimes I don't have to even explain what I feel, they just know.
I have many friends who are so special, some military wives, some not. One of my friends always seems to just get what I am saying without having to one-up with her pain even when she totally could, sometimes without saying anything. She wrote me a reply to one of my blogs from this week that brought me to tears understand what she is experiencing. All I have to say is I know! I don't know what it is like to be pregnant, but I do know what it is like to have a tough army guy missing precious moments and hoping he gets to be here for the biggest ones. Tomorrow, if she doesn't mind, I will share her blog about her fears and hopes for her and her JJellybean.
Many of my weakest moments come from stupid things. Last night I was putting away baby clothes and a thought crossed my mind that in a few days I will be back to arranging baby outfits for the week ahead just to stay afloat. I will again be all mommy all the time. I started crying when Chad took the boys hunting and I realized how even one evening lost is too many when we only have a few left.
Yesterday I watched Chad giving the baby her evening bottle. She drifted to sleep in his arms. He gently wiped her face and caressed her cheeks not knowing I was watching. It was so gentle and sweet to watch this gruff, rough and tumble guy be so tender with her. As much as he protests he isn't a baby person, I have watched him fall in love with his daughter this last week. It breaks my heart to know that he will miss most of the rest of her infancy. By the next time he sees her, she will be a toddler. He will miss her first steps, her first birthday, but more than those times, he will miss the tiny moments of her silly smiles when she is being flirtatious or the way she claps and dances to music, or the way her eyebrows crinkle when she hears Daddy practice his duck calls.
The moments I think about the moments of his sons' success, Chad missing Trenton's state honor society award and Nathan's first band concert, the moments of missing his Lil Bit, the moments of missing time together as a couple are the moments I find my heart breaking, tears looming. In those moments, sometimes he doesn't even understand how I feel, much like I can't really feel what he does having to leave and say good-bye. But my friends, especially my army wife friends can. Sometimes I don't have to even explain what I feel, they just know.
I have many friends who are so special, some military wives, some not. One of my friends always seems to just get what I am saying without having to one-up with her pain even when she totally could, sometimes without saying anything. She wrote me a reply to one of my blogs from this week that brought me to tears understand what she is experiencing. All I have to say is I know! I don't know what it is like to be pregnant, but I do know what it is like to have a tough army guy missing precious moments and hoping he gets to be here for the biggest ones. Tomorrow, if she doesn't mind, I will share her blog about her fears and hopes for her and her JJellybean.
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