Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Day 155: 48 hours

No, not the news show. The countdown to his leaving. In fact, as I start typing this, we're really at 46 1/2. I have to have him to the airport about 7:30 Thursday morning. Today was supposed to be a day of being lazy in bed, playing video games, talking, going to see a movie, but not sure it will work out that way.

We sprung a leak in one of the pool pump's hoses which is dumping water all over the back yard. He managed to contain it enough to go to bed, but it has to be addressed now. So he is off doing that while I sit and wait. Of course, I could have gone with him, but getting up and getting dressed would have taken longer than letting him go alone, so I am going to get a jump start on tonight's blog and maybe even input some kids' grades.

I am trying my best not to think about the leaving, but instead about the time we have. Yet, when it does cross my mind, I find it hard to catch my breath. My heart literally hurts. Last night, I lay my head on his chest and said, "I'm glad you're home." It took me awhile to feel comfortable and close with him again. I had shut down my heart so hard, I needed time to get the hinges loosened up. Also, as I explained to him, he is messy. Not in an unclean, slobbish way, but in an unpredictable, disorganized, seat of his pants kind of way. Especially this deployment, I had to be so organized and routinized to keep up with life and baby, house and school, so it was harder for me to get adjusted to his looser style of doing things.

Of course, now that we're back into a groove and having a good time together, it is time for him to leave again. We did make the movie, Limitless with Bradley Cooper which turned out to be not quite as good in the beginning (I love the meteoric rise part, the phenomenon genius bit) but better at the end than I could have imagined. Then we shopped for shoes and a new camera. We found a new camera we liked, got the last one and a discount for the floor model. We played with the baby and after putting her to bed, stayed up playing xbox again until we're both sweaty messes. But we're having fun.

The best part of the whole evening was watching a marine corps sniper show and hearing him tell all the stories of army sniper school. We had a nice day. But now we're down to 31 hours. I know it doesn't make sense to many to count every hour, but to an extent, as long as there are hours to count, it isn't over yet. I can't let myself start to cry yet. Although I can feel the tears looming behind my eyes.

Maybe it is just the sweat from too much reflex ridge. I think it is my turn again. Gotta go. Will try to write tomorrow, but no promises. 

No comments:

Post a Comment