After all the SO busy days. Today was a much needed break from being constantly busy for my dear husband. While he has so many things he wants to do, he needs days to relax too. He is so busy every single day over there that he comes home like he is amped up on adrenaline. It takes him a couple of weeks to be able to sit down, sleep through the night and/or take a nap.
I think about how hard it is for me to change my daily routine or habits. I can't imagine having to drop everything you've become accustomed to and jump into a completely different routine. He finds it very challenging to do so. On our way home for his father's funeral, we had to take a different (longer) route because the traffic on I-35 was too much for him. After being on constant alert for the past 6 months, he couldn't process all the cars on the road, their movements and threat assessment. While his conscious mind knew he didn't have to do all that, his subconscious mind couldn't stop racing. We took the longer route so we'd be on smaller highways and experience less traffic.
By the time he went to get the boys for our week with them, he'd been able to re-acclimate to some extent, but every day is a set of new challenges. He doesn't know how to fall asleep in our time zone for a few days, then it takes him a week or so to be able to sleep for more than four hours at a stretch. And when he gets up, he wants to go, go, go, do, do, do. By the time he is ready to calm down and relax, it is just a few days away from leaving.
Seems so unfair that he only gets two weeks to process so many complicated emotions and deal with intricate relationships. I wish the people in charge were more understanding of the issues in returning from war, being able to be here and connect emotionally with spouses and children. Fifteen days is just enough time to START relaxing and coming down off the adrenaline high of combat. Basically R&R is like a big tease. Here, come home, relax and then as soon as you do, are able to, we're gonna ship you back to war. Chad has even had some extra time due to his emergency leave and it wasn't enough.
I know we should be grateful for all we get. In World War II and Vietnam, they barely got letters and didn't get leave to return home for any time. But having it better than they used to doesn't mean it is good, just not as crappy as before. In World War II and Vietnam, most troops did one tour of duty. They weren't sent over and over and over and over. Believe me, it makes a difference.
We had some downtime today. We played a lot of xbox kinect games and stayed up way too late. The boys had light up wands they battered each other with all over the yard. Then daddy and I took over the xbox and played until we pulled every muscle in our legs, shoulders and backs. Then we stayed up later talking, connecting, making sandwiches.
Every little bit helps, but it would be nice to have more than a little bit. I am so looking forward to a day when I forget what it feels like to always have goodbye hanging over my head. Even when it is months away, it starts a countdown clock that never fades from my mind. I guess Chad isn't the only one in need of some serious down time. Crossing fingers that we get it.
I think about how hard it is for me to change my daily routine or habits. I can't imagine having to drop everything you've become accustomed to and jump into a completely different routine. He finds it very challenging to do so. On our way home for his father's funeral, we had to take a different (longer) route because the traffic on I-35 was too much for him. After being on constant alert for the past 6 months, he couldn't process all the cars on the road, their movements and threat assessment. While his conscious mind knew he didn't have to do all that, his subconscious mind couldn't stop racing. We took the longer route so we'd be on smaller highways and experience less traffic.
By the time he went to get the boys for our week with them, he'd been able to re-acclimate to some extent, but every day is a set of new challenges. He doesn't know how to fall asleep in our time zone for a few days, then it takes him a week or so to be able to sleep for more than four hours at a stretch. And when he gets up, he wants to go, go, go, do, do, do. By the time he is ready to calm down and relax, it is just a few days away from leaving.
Seems so unfair that he only gets two weeks to process so many complicated emotions and deal with intricate relationships. I wish the people in charge were more understanding of the issues in returning from war, being able to be here and connect emotionally with spouses and children. Fifteen days is just enough time to START relaxing and coming down off the adrenaline high of combat. Basically R&R is like a big tease. Here, come home, relax and then as soon as you do, are able to, we're gonna ship you back to war. Chad has even had some extra time due to his emergency leave and it wasn't enough.
I know we should be grateful for all we get. In World War II and Vietnam, they barely got letters and didn't get leave to return home for any time. But having it better than they used to doesn't mean it is good, just not as crappy as before. In World War II and Vietnam, most troops did one tour of duty. They weren't sent over and over and over and over. Believe me, it makes a difference.
We had some downtime today. We played a lot of xbox kinect games and stayed up way too late. The boys had light up wands they battered each other with all over the yard. Then daddy and I took over the xbox and played until we pulled every muscle in our legs, shoulders and backs. Then we stayed up later talking, connecting, making sandwiches.
Every little bit helps, but it would be nice to have more than a little bit. I am so looking forward to a day when I forget what it feels like to always have goodbye hanging over my head. Even when it is months away, it starts a countdown clock that never fades from my mind. I guess Chad isn't the only one in need of some serious down time. Crossing fingers that we get it.
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