Sunday, November 28, 2010

Day 269: not the same

Lil Bit and I have traveled to my husband's mother's house for Thanksgiving. I haven't felt like crying for weeks, but the minute I get here and sit for a few minutes surrounded by the house where we fell in love, a house literally filled with pictures of him, I start getting teary eyed at every little thing.

Maybe again it is that for the first time in months, I am not so busy I can barely get through a day and have time to think. Maybe the holiday season being in full swing without him again is making me emotional. Maybe just being surrounded by his family, his children, and pictures of him reminds me more of what I am missing. Especially with Lil Bit doing her best to learn to crawl and "talking" up a storm, we realize how much he is missing.

There isn't much to say, but a week's worth of playing and watching her try to crawl, getting better everyday, makes me and everyone else realize just how much precious time he is missing. Being home is always special and this trip was more so because I got to be with both my moms. It just isn't the same without my sweet husband.

He is always the life of the party, the center of attention with his crazy stories. He is so a teenager when he goes home, but this house with its warmth and charm and welcoming spirit is certainly his mom to me, but also brings home so much of his spirit to my heart. I pray everyday for his safe return because this life is not the same without him no matter where or what day it is.

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