The real countdown starts now. Starting to count days back in August seemed futile. The numbers ticking down so slowly, but here we are on the final countdown. It is a little scary. Every time he comes home, I am nervous, wish I had lost more weight, worry about little things that I've become accustomed to doing alone.
But last night was pretty rough. I just wasn't feeling like myself this weekend. I was so tired. I'm not sure if it was allergies or a cold brewing. Lil Bit's nose was a snot faucet all weekend and she was warm most of the day, but she is also teething and seems to suffer from symptoms of allergies when I do. I just was so tired that I lost my patience. I am usually able to take her crabbiness or refusal to go to sleep and just smile it away, but it really grated on my nerves last night.
I had to walk away and let her cry for awhile before I could go back in her room. That isn't like me. I'm not always very patient, but usually am exceptionally patient with her. I guess my point is that I am looking forward to having some support and some company. I was really lonely this weekend. I ended up holing up in the house the whole weekend, not sure if I was hiding from the pollen or people.
A lot of people comment about how strong I am, but I don't feel it. I make it through the work day because it keeps me busy but came home from school last weekend just empty. I've spent weeks planning Lil Bit's birthday party, cleaning house, preparing for company. I had a houseful Thursday-Monday, then was sick, then it was time to come home for a weekend of just me and the baby.
At first I was psyched, but then I realized how lonely it is without someone to share her with. She does something new just about everyday. Saturday she went peepee on the potty. Yesterday she learned a new sign word, "cracker." Tonight she was trying to imitate a duck and heard a dog bark next door and signed "dog." I do my best to be strong, to be completely self-sufficient, but I can't be that all the time.
Sometimes my friends let me down, but Chad rarely does. He is always there for me, except when he can't be. Even then he tries. While I like being alone sometimes, I think a few hours on the weekend or a couple of day for a hunting trip will be enough once he gets home.
It is weird to think this might be the last time we countdown. He is probably going to get slotted for drill or recruiter soon. That would be a couple of years home. Who knows where we'll be at war by then? I will be crossing fingers that we're not at war at all. Mmm, this could be the final countdown for a deployment, at least for a long time. That would be both strange and wonderful.
We're short timers now, baby! I can't wait for my honey to be home.
But last night was pretty rough. I just wasn't feeling like myself this weekend. I was so tired. I'm not sure if it was allergies or a cold brewing. Lil Bit's nose was a snot faucet all weekend and she was warm most of the day, but she is also teething and seems to suffer from symptoms of allergies when I do. I just was so tired that I lost my patience. I am usually able to take her crabbiness or refusal to go to sleep and just smile it away, but it really grated on my nerves last night.
I had to walk away and let her cry for awhile before I could go back in her room. That isn't like me. I'm not always very patient, but usually am exceptionally patient with her. I guess my point is that I am looking forward to having some support and some company. I was really lonely this weekend. I ended up holing up in the house the whole weekend, not sure if I was hiding from the pollen or people.
A lot of people comment about how strong I am, but I don't feel it. I make it through the work day because it keeps me busy but came home from school last weekend just empty. I've spent weeks planning Lil Bit's birthday party, cleaning house, preparing for company. I had a houseful Thursday-Monday, then was sick, then it was time to come home for a weekend of just me and the baby.
At first I was psyched, but then I realized how lonely it is without someone to share her with. She does something new just about everyday. Saturday she went peepee on the potty. Yesterday she learned a new sign word, "cracker." Tonight she was trying to imitate a duck and heard a dog bark next door and signed "dog." I do my best to be strong, to be completely self-sufficient, but I can't be that all the time.
Sometimes my friends let me down, but Chad rarely does. He is always there for me, except when he can't be. Even then he tries. While I like being alone sometimes, I think a few hours on the weekend or a couple of day for a hunting trip will be enough once he gets home.
It is weird to think this might be the last time we countdown. He is probably going to get slotted for drill or recruiter soon. That would be a couple of years home. Who knows where we'll be at war by then? I will be crossing fingers that we're not at war at all. Mmm, this could be the final countdown for a deployment, at least for a long time. That would be both strange and wonderful.
We're short timers now, baby! I can't wait for my honey to be home.
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