The Costs
Adoptions vary. Some are nearly free or just legal fees of a couple thousand dollars (foster to adopt or private adoption of a family member’s or friend’s child). Some are less expensive, through state or public agencies or the adoption of a minority or impaired child (mentally, physically, health impairments, etc.). The quickest method of adoption is the one we pursued, private agency. We chose a non-profit agency, but the agency still has overhead. They employ several social workers, adoption agents, birth mother facilitators, legal advisors and lawyers. They maintain several offices throughout the country with overhead expenses like any other business: internet, phone, website, electricity, salaries, insurance, advertising, etc. In order to maintain an effective agency, they have expenses, which the adoptive parents pay. Below is a list of what we paid with our agency last year. Rates change yearly, some agencies have a sliding scale depending on salary. This is simply a ballpark for you to get some idea of what you might be looking at.
Home study - $1500 for first visit and subsequent two visits post placement
$ 500 – application fee (one agency had a $150 fee just to get the application)
$6000 – retainer due when accepted as clients non-refundable
$10,000 – Agency fee balance, due prior to placement- we paid this AT the hospital.
$4,610 – Birth mother expenses prior to birth ( based on her rent, utilities, health, etc.)
$1830 – birth mother expenses post -partum (one month to get back on her feet)
$1000 – travel expenses for agency ( we lived in same state as agency and birth mother, these could have been much higher)
$6320 – anticipated legal costs (ours turned out to be $1850 higher)
Total - $31,760 plus all the little fees and costs here and there. Attaining certain documents and fingerprinting cost several hundred dollars. We spent a couple hundred on all the baby proofing. We spent a $110 on our profile booklet. We spent another $250 for website advertising of us as a “Waiting Family” and about $2000 living in a hotel for a week while the baby was in the NICU. We ended up at around $36,000.
So, sounds ridiculous, right? It is, but also do-able. It took years of discipline, of living below our means to save the money. We did have the "advantage" of being able to save deployment money. While the actual paycheck the soldiers get during a deployment is only a few hundred dollars more a month, their salaries are tax-free during that year. We lived very frugally, eliminated all unnecessary debt and still had to borrow $6000 from my mom. I didn't buy new underwear for a really long time, much less new shoes. Sacrifice is definitely part of the equation, but if you really want to be a parent, get used to it. My birthday present last year was a high chair for our daughter.
So what do you do if you don't have the option to borrow money or a large cash influx? One, if you have a car payment, sell the car. Sell the vehicle, buy something for cash that will get you to and from work. Then put the car payment (or two if you're willing to sacrifice two newer vehicles) towards savings. The amount of money you will save will most likely cover any repairs and upkeep as well as help you build your savings and probably lower your insurance rates. Next, build the strictest budget you can live on and stick to it. I would advise following Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover just with the adoption costs as a goal.
If you are willing to wait, you should be debt free, have 4-6 months of expenses saved up and then start saving toward an adoption if you truly want to be financially secure when the baby comes. That would allow less agony over returning to work potentially or give you some peace of mind that you're ready for all the ups and downs parenting brings, financially and otherwise. I know that being currently debt free and almost having our emergency fund fully funded for 6 months of expenses, feels great. When things go wrong, I don't have to panic. I don't even worry about losing my job (not that I am worried, but if I lost it, we'd be ok for at least a year because we've saved enough to cover if we both were out of work for 6 months).
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| Our Lil Bit a few days old - Hand Picked, indeed! |
Trying to save up $30,000 sounds impossible. But it isn't. How much did you get back in taxes? Put it into savings. Got stuff you can sell on eBay? do it. Can you find a temporary second job? Can you turn off the cable or lower the cell phone expenses, buy store brands, turn up/down the thermostat a few degrees, unplug appliances during the day, eat out once a month or less? We were amazed at how much money got spent on wasteful things when we started budgeting. In fact, even post-adoption, we're reevaluating what we spend on consumables like fine dining, wine, entertainment. For what my husband spends a month on his "treats", he could have bought a boat by now.
If all you can save is one car payment a month (avg. $500/mo.), you could save up enough in 5 years. If you can do that and find a public agency, cheaper private agency or private adoption, great. Worst case scenario, save up for three years, put all bonuses, raises, and tax refunds into the fund. That would get you to around $20,000. If you start the process with that much and it takes another year before you finish the process and finalize the adoption, you would be at almost $30,000, depending on how much you get back in taxes each year. If worst came to worst, you could borrow the rest and pay back the loan using the adoption tax credit the next time you file your taxes. In 2010, the credit was $13,170. While it was about 1/3 of what we paid, it was a nice chunk to get back.
Saving money has never been easier when I knew the goal was a beautiful baby. Yet, it took quite a bit of dedication and combined commitment as a couple to raise the money. Writing that ginormous check at the hospital for the remaining $19,000 felt great and rotten at the same time. But we were able to walk out the door with our beautiful baby girl. And you can't put a price tag on her. Somethings are just priceless.
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