I did it to myself. Every year, June rolls around and I think, "Man, I'll get it together next year." And every year, I find myself in the same freakin' boat.
I play hardball, but have a rough time closing. I spend a lot of time yelling but don't do much punishing. I hate punishing kids. I want to keep them in class. I keep hoping that they'll see I am giving them a break and shape up, but they don't. They see I won't actually get out a referral or won't actually send them to ISS and act increasingly poorly. But it is hard to draw a line on that slippery slope.
I finally got serious about controlling some of the worst offenders and my worst classes became much more manageable once they knew my agenda was actually to help them, and if they continued to misbehave I was going to actually send kids to the office. So why is it that 16 years in I still hate to be THAT teacher, the one who is mean and the kids hate? Yet, by the end of the year, all I feel like I am doing is yelling and they all hate me anyway.
It makes me feel like a failure. Every year it seems like my students finally get that I care about them, want them to succeed and have important things to impart just before it is time for exams. Why can't I start off the year this way? Today, my most difficult class was quiet for the most part and I got to teach, the very last regular day of school. I need to figure out how to change for next year, permanently.
The first quarter or two seem to go well, but then we get all off track somewhere in the middle of the year. I think I need a Nike poster in my room from day one reminding me that discipline isn't cruelty. Discipline is kindness masquerading as cruelty. If my students know they can't act up in my classroom because I will discipline them then the quiet students who need peace to work or be heard, will be.
I have better classroom discipline that many of the classrooms I've visited. I don't have a lot of bad kids. Even kids who've been removed from campus for disrespectful behavior, don't really act up in my class. But it is the TALKING, the constant talking that is making me absolutely not want to teach again.
I think in our cyber world, we can Tweet or Facebook or Gmail chat and we're used to expressing every single thought that pops into our heads immediately. The idea of holding our tongues has become very foreign to us. Also with our ability to say something and be heard by hundreds or thousands of people regardless of credibility or knowledge has increased the shouting out of random thoughts.
I can't believe the things people say in my classroom, just ridiculous garbage, and they do not seem concerned with whether or not they made sense or were correct. Also, because you can post instantly and simultaneously, I believe students have lost the ability to take turns in normal conversation.
One of my biggest flaws is that I interrupt people. I don't mean to. I just get excited to talk and jump in just a bit too soon. But I try not to do it and I definitely don't just keep talking as if someone isn't speaking at all. The kids today talk right over not only me, but each other. I am really going to have to work on my lesson planning for next year. I really want to structure my class so that by the end of the year, students speak when called on, take turns in conversation, and I can TEACH. I think it can be done, but I am going to need some support from the administration because the first few weeks will be tricky.
I know that if I establish ground rules and maintain specific standards for them that I could achieve better results. But I find it so hard to know where that line is. One kid talks, then the next one and a few in, I'm talking too or shouting, trying to re-establish what I should be able to maintain.
I am a good teacher, more than 90% of my students passed our state tests this year which was one of my roughest years in recent memory, so I know I am doing a good job. But I am letting things hold me back from being great, and the kids are the ones paying the price. I just think how much better my students would feel about themselves and do in the rest of their lives if I could find a way to reach them.
I just need to find away to stay out of this boat from now on. I don't like being in this sinking ship.
I play hardball, but have a rough time closing. I spend a lot of time yelling but don't do much punishing. I hate punishing kids. I want to keep them in class. I keep hoping that they'll see I am giving them a break and shape up, but they don't. They see I won't actually get out a referral or won't actually send them to ISS and act increasingly poorly. But it is hard to draw a line on that slippery slope.
I finally got serious about controlling some of the worst offenders and my worst classes became much more manageable once they knew my agenda was actually to help them, and if they continued to misbehave I was going to actually send kids to the office. So why is it that 16 years in I still hate to be THAT teacher, the one who is mean and the kids hate? Yet, by the end of the year, all I feel like I am doing is yelling and they all hate me anyway.
It makes me feel like a failure. Every year it seems like my students finally get that I care about them, want them to succeed and have important things to impart just before it is time for exams. Why can't I start off the year this way? Today, my most difficult class was quiet for the most part and I got to teach, the very last regular day of school. I need to figure out how to change for next year, permanently.
The first quarter or two seem to go well, but then we get all off track somewhere in the middle of the year. I think I need a Nike poster in my room from day one reminding me that discipline isn't cruelty. Discipline is kindness masquerading as cruelty. If my students know they can't act up in my classroom because I will discipline them then the quiet students who need peace to work or be heard, will be.
I have better classroom discipline that many of the classrooms I've visited. I don't have a lot of bad kids. Even kids who've been removed from campus for disrespectful behavior, don't really act up in my class. But it is the TALKING, the constant talking that is making me absolutely not want to teach again.
I think in our cyber world, we can Tweet or Facebook or Gmail chat and we're used to expressing every single thought that pops into our heads immediately. The idea of holding our tongues has become very foreign to us. Also with our ability to say something and be heard by hundreds or thousands of people regardless of credibility or knowledge has increased the shouting out of random thoughts.
I can't believe the things people say in my classroom, just ridiculous garbage, and they do not seem concerned with whether or not they made sense or were correct. Also, because you can post instantly and simultaneously, I believe students have lost the ability to take turns in normal conversation.
One of my biggest flaws is that I interrupt people. I don't mean to. I just get excited to talk and jump in just a bit too soon. But I try not to do it and I definitely don't just keep talking as if someone isn't speaking at all. The kids today talk right over not only me, but each other. I am really going to have to work on my lesson planning for next year. I really want to structure my class so that by the end of the year, students speak when called on, take turns in conversation, and I can TEACH. I think it can be done, but I am going to need some support from the administration because the first few weeks will be tricky.
I know that if I establish ground rules and maintain specific standards for them that I could achieve better results. But I find it so hard to know where that line is. One kid talks, then the next one and a few in, I'm talking too or shouting, trying to re-establish what I should be able to maintain.
I am a good teacher, more than 90% of my students passed our state tests this year which was one of my roughest years in recent memory, so I know I am doing a good job. But I am letting things hold me back from being great, and the kids are the ones paying the price. I just think how much better my students would feel about themselves and do in the rest of their lives if I could find a way to reach them.
I just need to find away to stay out of this boat from now on. I don't like being in this sinking ship.
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