Today was transfer day. My week with my mom, sister and her kids was up and it was time for a switch. Airfare being what it is, we decided to fly into Ohio, spend a week and then drive to Illinois and fly home from St. Louis. My step-father-in-law whom I call Dadve, drove from Illinois to near Indianapolis to meet me with my mom.
It should have been about a six hour drive, but with a restroom stop, transfer stop and lunch, we got home around 3:30 which was about seven hours after I left my sister's this morning. I am very tired so this is going to be short.
I was up most of the night with a whiney baby. She cried and whined and eventually screamed. I was up almost all night listening to her. She only stopped and slept near 5 when I got fed up and pulled her into bed with me. She snuggled right in and pretty much was silent from then on in, around two hours before I had to be up to get ready to travel.
I, of course, forgot something at my sister's house, Lil Bit's favorite sippy cup. UGH!!! The last half an hour to forty-five minutes of my mom's half of the drive, she screamed with fury, turning beet red and choking herself. She clawed at the seatbelts and tried to escape her car seat. I was crying by the time we got to our meeting place with aching sadness for her.
After the transfer to Dadve's car, she cheered up with me sitting in back with her and was calmer for the next thirty minutes or so, after which we stopped for lunch. Once she ate, she was all smiles. I had fed her until she turned it away in mom's car, so maybe she just needed to stop and get out of the seat for awhile.
She napped for awhile in the car, so did I. After a week at my sister's house, with a baby who whined all night long, I am so wiped out. I am ready for bed. I was ready an hour ago, but don't see myself getting a shot at the bathroom right now to get myself ready for bed.
Then I get to the family's house and realize they've got company up to their eyeballs. Hopefully I get some rest soon. Being on the road and visiting people's houses just isn't like being at home. Not my bed, not my noises, not her bed, so she's all out of sorts. While I am enjoying the visits, I understand more and more why people get comfortable in their own homes. We try to make some accommodations for guests, but it just isn't home.
The hardest part of today for me was saying good-bye to my mom. I tried not to cry. I know that a one week visit once or twice a year doesn't actually change our relationship, but it is nice to see her face when we talk. I know she liked seeing Lil Bit too, but it is hard for her to get close to the baby when she has so little time with her. The last couple of days, she really spent some good time with the baby, but it is hardest for me that she isn't here to see the growth and changes in her. It is nice to share her cuteness with everyone else. Sometimes a phone call just can't convey the momentous sweetness of a new first, and it makes me lonely. She is missing so much. I know she knows it and struggles not to get upset with the good-byes too.
Deployments, the army and this life is just a long road sometimes, and it gets very lonely. Even the people who love us, sometimes don't understand the intricacies of what we go through and the emotions we deal with under the surface. Just tired tonight. Emotionally it was a hard day and physically, I am very finished. I just hope to get some sleep. Somedays, all you can do is look forward to tomorrow.
It should have been about a six hour drive, but with a restroom stop, transfer stop and lunch, we got home around 3:30 which was about seven hours after I left my sister's this morning. I am very tired so this is going to be short.
I was up most of the night with a whiney baby. She cried and whined and eventually screamed. I was up almost all night listening to her. She only stopped and slept near 5 when I got fed up and pulled her into bed with me. She snuggled right in and pretty much was silent from then on in, around two hours before I had to be up to get ready to travel.
I, of course, forgot something at my sister's house, Lil Bit's favorite sippy cup. UGH!!! The last half an hour to forty-five minutes of my mom's half of the drive, she screamed with fury, turning beet red and choking herself. She clawed at the seatbelts and tried to escape her car seat. I was crying by the time we got to our meeting place with aching sadness for her.
After the transfer to Dadve's car, she cheered up with me sitting in back with her and was calmer for the next thirty minutes or so, after which we stopped for lunch. Once she ate, she was all smiles. I had fed her until she turned it away in mom's car, so maybe she just needed to stop and get out of the seat for awhile.
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| Goodbye, Nana! |
Then I get to the family's house and realize they've got company up to their eyeballs. Hopefully I get some rest soon. Being on the road and visiting people's houses just isn't like being at home. Not my bed, not my noises, not her bed, so she's all out of sorts. While I am enjoying the visits, I understand more and more why people get comfortable in their own homes. We try to make some accommodations for guests, but it just isn't home.
The hardest part of today for me was saying good-bye to my mom. I tried not to cry. I know that a one week visit once or twice a year doesn't actually change our relationship, but it is nice to see her face when we talk. I know she liked seeing Lil Bit too, but it is hard for her to get close to the baby when she has so little time with her. The last couple of days, she really spent some good time with the baby, but it is hardest for me that she isn't here to see the growth and changes in her. It is nice to share her cuteness with everyone else. Sometimes a phone call just can't convey the momentous sweetness of a new first, and it makes me lonely. She is missing so much. I know she knows it and struggles not to get upset with the good-byes too.
Deployments, the army and this life is just a long road sometimes, and it gets very lonely. Even the people who love us, sometimes don't understand the intricacies of what we go through and the emotions we deal with under the surface. Just tired tonight. Emotionally it was a hard day and physically, I am very finished. I just hope to get some sleep. Somedays, all you can do is look forward to tomorrow.
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