Yesterday I wrote about how excited I am about the progress I am making with my running. Today the pinched nerve I have, not sure where, but the pain runs from my left knee into my hip. It makes it hard for me to even walk. I was feeling it today, but thought perhaps running would work out the kinks, but it was not to be.
I did manage to get through 1.25 miles, but Lil Bit was fussy so had to stop a few times for her and a few times to try to straighten my hip. I managed to jog a few times, but the pain got so bad my stomach was starting to turn. Having to quit running made me feel so disappointed that I was crying on the treadmill. I tried to stretch and kind of crack my hip, but nothing worked. Having the one thing that was working, go wrong just felt like too much today.
I guess I am going to have to schedule a doctor's appointment, which will probably lead to tests/referrals, etc. because whatever is going on is not good. Life's little bumps. Reminds me of that country song in which the guy is drinking himself into oblivion because the washer broke, the dog got sick, etc. and his friend says that is life.
I have a few friends who read this blog and worry about me. But honestly, I have those moments when I want to scream, cry, throw a giant temper tantrum and then pack those feelings up and move on. When you see me smiling at work, I am genuinely happy. I am not often someone who carries the bad stuff with me for more than a few minutes, doesn't solve anything and the pain tends to grow instead of shrink when I focus on the hurting or the sadness or anger.
I am concerned about my fitness and weight goals if this pinched nerve continues to be a problem. If I can't exercise by running, it will be hard for me to find something that I can do with Lil Bit, but there are other options. I am mostly concerned about my ability to walk, spent a lot of today trying to cover up my limp.
Chalk it up to getting older sucks! Nobody'd do it if it weren't for the alternative! I miss having someone to cry to, maybe that is why I vent to this blog. Sometimes I just need to put out what I am feeling into the universe and hope someone cares, prays, gives me a hug or thinks about giving me a hug. Not always into being touchy feely, gotta catch me in the right mood. I can tell Chad when things are hard, but I really do have to pick and choose when. If he is having a really hard time, all he needs to know is that we're fine. I can't always do anything for him, I can't always say the right thing, but I can give him the peace of mind to know I am hanging in there and that we're here loving him and waiting for him to come home.
Well, promised myself two weeks ago to get to bed on time and haven't done it yet. Lil Bit woke me up early after I was up late reading again (gotta get more boring books!). Would be nice to sleep during the week and not JUST on weekends. Think positive people!! Might be asleep before 11?
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