A former student of mine said she read this today and it was something special to her. It is a good reminder to me as well, that I need to take risks too. Life get shorter and shorter everyday. Hope you enjoy!
Autumn Promises
A crisp apple wind
causes rust colored leaves to stutter step
down graying blacktop
and across deep green lawns.
The September air is warm in the bright afternoon sun,
but betrayed by the undercurrent of autumn
trailing the heat,
and for a moment
I can almost feel an old flannel shirt
and hear the high school band over the cheers at the football game.
I feel myself tumbling
like the leaves
back to those minutes
where everything was as fresh and new
as I was,
new folders and notebooks
waiting for me to write in them,
a new year of promises
daring to be kept,
where life was something waiting for me
instead of a pathway of regret
trailing behind me.
I also remember
being afraid
of what life would bring after the safe cocoon of high school,
so I found cocoon,
after cocoon,
to encase myself,
as if I could protect myself from risk,
from failure
finding hollow victories in being just good enough
to get by
without putting too much of myself on the limb,
but realizing now that the regrets that trail me
are more the regrets of what I didn't do,
the risks I wouldn't take,
the life I was afraid to lead.
I pull the sharp, cool air into me
with all of its hope
daring to believe,
that I can now write the pages of my future,
breaking out of my safety chrysalis
and emerge the butterfly I was always supposed to be,
casting off the past,
its hurts and failures,
willing to risk what I am afraid to lose,
in the hopes that next fall
I will again be that girl with the cotton candy dreams
and tomorrows lining up before her
breathless for each challenge and
grateful for the wonder of each day
in the crisp apple wind.
That's a nice poem. I like the imagery of fall.
ReplyDeleteI hope your husband is well. My partner hasn't been deployed yet, but I'm sure it will happen. I hope I'm as much of a bad-ass as you when it does. Already we can't really live together because of the anti-gay laws...but living in the same country is close enough for now.
Thanks for writing and reading. I don't know what makes me bad a$$, but thanks! I just try to get through each day. Some days just surviving is enough. I would be interested in writing about your situation on my advice blog if you have anything you're struggling with between your relationship and the military. The army makes it hard enough on significant others as it is.
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