Last night, my Lil Bit ate real food! This was our third attempt at rice cereal. Babies have to relearn how to use their mouths to swallow food rather than milk. It often takes awhile. The first two attempts were happy disasters. I think more food came out of her mouth than went in! Last night, though still messy, she seemed to really grasp the idea of swallowing. I was so excited when I said open and she did!! Of course I had to call the Grandmas immediately and brag on my genius daughter!
Lil Bit was under her play gym while I was on the phone with my MiL. She was just having the best time, smiling and kicking and playing. She was so cute in her little blue gingham dress with matching spankies and socks. Her demure smile peeked at me from behind a handful of damp, well-chewed skirt. She is just s darned cute!
Tonight, she was frustrated with her toys (they don't fit in her mouth) and growling at them. To alleviate her frustration, I was growling with her. Lil Bit's brown eyes grew two sizes and a full belly laugh trickled up into her smile. The joy from her laugh was contagious and I began to laugh. My laughing made her laugh, so I laughed more, so she laughed more.
But as we were bonding, all I could think was that Daddy was missing it. She was a tiny, mostly inert, itty bit when he left. Now she is rolling and eating and "talking" and laughing. The snuggles and cuddles are even more precious because she is already becoming so much more independent. I can't imagine missing this so sweet year with her. It breaks my heart to miss the hours I do when I have to go to work during the day. He is missing it all.
I always knew he missed so much with his children, but we live so far away that I don't get to watch them go through the year without him as much as I do now with her. Plus, this first year is just so jam packed with firsts. Those moments when she crosses a new milestone or overcomes something that just the day before had her confounded or is just doing something too adorable for words are moments he can't get back. I can't yell, honey, come see this. I try to call my mothers but if I called them every time she was cute, we'd be on the phone all the time. So much of my mental picture of my new family involved the bonding we would do with our new daughter. It hurts to miss sharing those moments with him more than I ever thought I could. I thought at least I would enjoy the special girly bonding time, but really it just hurts not to have him here to witness the changes and joys of her year.
Any free time I have this week will be researching video cameras. I think I might want a flip? Something easy to use and upload quickly to email or facebook and save to discs. I just can't let him miss it all.
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