I was feeling pretty down today. I like routine. I like to keep a set schedule. I like organization and planning, but even I get tired of the same thing day after day especially when the theme is not enough time or energy. Especially when my favorite person isn't a part of my days. In fact he tried to chat, but my students are giving presentations in class using the computer so I couldn't chat. It was really hard knowing he was there and not being able to talk. I have been missing him SO much.
My mood was about as gray as it was here today, but I took a chance and went for a walk/jog anyway. The baby LOVES going for nice long walks and so does the dog. I put on my good running shoes and went for it. I ran/walked a 5K (3.1 miles) in 50 minutes. That is horribly slow, but considering how out of shape I am and the hole in my hip, I was happy with it for today. Monday, I did 2.55 miles in the same time it took me today to go half a mile further.
The best part of the jog though was how I felt when I finished. The fresh air, happy baby, endorphins and pride helped push away the lonely funk, for tonight at least. I have to remember that even a quick walk is such a mood changer. I spend way too much time tucked away on the couch. As long as the baby is happy in the stroller, I need to take advantage, even if we just go a mile, it is exercise and sunshine, a fresh breeze and does wonders for my smile. Some people wanna jog their memories, but I wanna jog my mood. = )
After R&R should be the easiest part of a deployment. People expect that it should be, but I’ve never found it to be the case. In fact, after the closeness my husband and I had over R&R, it has been especially hard on me to not have good contact. He has been swamped with things (some administrative and some combat-related) and has barely called or contacted me in the weeks since he left.
I didn’t even get a phone call last weekend. When we go weeks without talking, it is very hard on me emotionally despite the fact that he almost ALWAYS calls at the worst possible moment of the day. Like trying to instant message me during presentations today. I emailed him a better time to talk, but he never came back online. My heart hurt a little bit for having to miss him. I know he is OK. I know he loves me. I know he knows I love him. But when I miss him, my heart hurts a little bit. I struggle not to cry no matter how recently we've talked, but today it was harder since we haven't been able to chat and my students are giving presentations every day for awhile.
My mood was about as gray as it was here today, but I took a chance and went for a walk/jog anyway. The baby LOVES going for nice long walks and so does the dog. I put on my good running shoes and went for it. I ran/walked a 5K (3.1 miles) in 50 minutes. That is horribly slow, but considering how out of shape I am and the hole in my hip, I was happy with it for today. Monday, I did 2.55 miles in the same time it took me today to go half a mile further.
The best part of the jog though was how I felt when I finished. The fresh air, happy baby, endorphins and pride helped push away the lonely funk, for tonight at least. I have to remember that even a quick walk is such a mood changer. I spend way too much time tucked away on the couch. As long as the baby is happy in the stroller, I need to take advantage, even if we just go a mile, it is exercise and sunshine, a fresh breeze and does wonders for my smile. Some people wanna jog their memories, but I wanna jog my mood. = )
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