Saturday, October 23, 2010

Day 305: Putting out

Ok, so this is not about "that" kind of putting out. I spent the week exhausted and complaining and miserable. I apparently was so miserable that I made other people not want to be my friends. Well, once I learned in a marriage that loving someone and being in love with them is a lot about how much you're giving, not how much you're getting. The more you give, the happier you are, the happier he is, so he gives and gets happier, etc.

Conversely the more you complain, the more you focus on the negative, the more you are aware of the negative, the more negative you feel so you are more upset and . . . . .  you get the idea. As a Christian, I don't "believe" in karma, but somehow, the emotions and actions you put into the world either brings the same things back to you or helps you see what the world does bring in a different light.

So Friday, I made a conscious decision to put out what I wanted people to get from being around me. I bought cookies to take to my fellow sophomore English teachers to say thank you for their efforts. I went to dinner despite being exhausted and then invited everyone back to my house to watch the ballgame. While I only had one taker, we had a great time.

Funny, I felt better immediately, less stressed, and happier. I can't make everyone like me. Half the time, I am not sure the people I think are friends even like me. I can't help that. I do the best I can. If who I am isn't enough for anyone, then I need to learn to let it go. I put out into the world my heart, my friendship, my honesty. I try to be a good friend. I may fail a lot, but I am always trying. Good intentions may not always count for much, but the least I can do is to put out happiness and kindness into the world and make the people around me feel good. What is the worst that can happen? I get more friends? well, shoot, I guess I'll takes ma chances.

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