Day 315: Friendship Ratio

Recently,  I heard a study that says the average woman only has enough room in his/her life for 5-6 intimate relationships and every time she adds someone, she has to let someone go. I have done my best to keep a lot of friends in my life. I try to make time to call friends from whom I have moved away or the army has moved away from me. I even try to remember my friends who are not on Facebook and send them pictures and updates. But I don't have as much time for things as I used to, and about half as much energy.

I feel like I am being a bad friend to a lot of people. I don't mean to be!!! I do think about you . . . trust me if you're reading this (and I know you personally), I do think about you at some point.  I think the ratio is more than one to one, get one give one, when a baby is the get one. I feel like I had to give up too many friends. I don't want our friendship to suffer or end, but I spend a lot of time just holding my $h!t together, people. I have a baby who for someone so little takes an AMAZING amount of time, a dog who wholeheartedly believes she deserves the same amount of attention, a yard, garden, a pool, a job and apparently can't give up the need for sleep or food. I miss being able to go see a friend's play or have an evening out during the week. In fact, if I do go out at all it has to be directly after school for an hour or so or I have to rearrange and juggle everything else in my life to make sure I have the time, energy, etc. to include the outing and make up for whatever I didn't get done while I was out having fun.

I don't know how I seem to people. I know I spend a lot of this blog complaining or whining about being tired, but this is my vent. I try to be uber organized, super controlled girl in real life and don't know if people ever really know how close I come to losing it sometimes. Other nights I have talked about letting some of the juggling balls drop. I can't drop work or the house or the baby, the dog, eh, she has her moments; I can only run for so long without a good night's sleep, so the only place I have room to let go is sometimes my friends.

So here is my big letting go of control - You're invited!! As long as you call first to make sure I am wearing pants or have five minutes to put some on, and don't care about my hair or how clean my house is, come over. Bring wine or beer or don't and come by and sit or drink what I have open. We can order pizza or eat Lean Cuisines. Hold the baby so I can dash around for a second. Come watch my DVRed Glee episodes. I may not have some of the freedoms I used to, but you are on my heart more than you know. And I miss you too!