This weekend, I got a rare treat. I got an hour long phone call from my husband. All the aching to just talk to him this week and I got my wish. Man, that felt incredible. We got to say all the "I miss you"s and "I love you"s we wanted. We even had enough time to get past the niceties and necessities (you know, how much money is in my account, mailing home some things, what do you need in your next package, etc.) and get to just talk!
Ever since last deployment, when I noticed a few trends in how deployments go, I have had a little theory. The first few days are hard, then at about two weeks it gets hard again, then another breakdown around two months. I spent all week being overwhelmed by the stack of essays, report card time and all the joys it brings, the visitation of Reanna, the exhaustion from parenting, the loneliness, etc. and never realized I was hitting the two month mark.
Man, that sneaky son of a biscuit eating bulldog. The whole idea of the theory is to be prepared for the rough stuff but I was so busy, I didn't realize I had hit a crucial threshold. Two months is so hard because he has been gone long enough, it starts feeling like he is really gone. I start to forget the way he smells, the way his face feels before bed, the way it feels to look into his eyes. But I still remember enough to keep my heart aching, to make my chest hurt, enough to feel a little lost without him.
On top of everything else, the FRG sent out an email yesterday, to quell rumors about injuries, but since I hadn't heard the rumors, it kind of backfired. Luckily no one was seriously hurt and Chad wasn't wounded at all. But it just added to the emotions weighing on my heart. How funny, people say when it rains, it pours for a reason and not the weather. Just a rough, rough week. And today, I can't stop smiling. I miss him, I am tired, but my precious girl was all about me today. I got my grades finished, did my spreadsheet, and got to talk to my sweet sister and her lovely children too.
Next week is a new ballgame and who knows what it will bring. All I know for sure is that this won't be the last rough week I have, nor probably the roughest, but we are one-sixth the way through this bad boy! Two months down, ten to go, five until R&R. Woo hoo! If I made it through this patch, I can do the rest. And exploring new wines is certainly helping - - - http://affectionatelywiney.blogspot.com. Where being a wino is all about enjoying the journey! Mmm - back to my glass.
This made me smile:)
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