Day 222: 1/2 way home

This school year is hard. I love teaching and once I get to school, I can generally psych myself up to be emotionally present, not just physically and intellectually. But it has been really hard going to work to teach students who don't understand, don't care, don't respect themselves much less me. I have to leave my precious peanut, who just wants me and my undivided attention all day, every day to spend the day with students who don't even understand how precious education is in this country, world, life.

I wasn't a perfect teenager (I am sure my parents could fill you in on that anti-newsflash!) and they had strict grade requirements for me. I spent a lot of time doing the absolute minimum, but the minimum was an A or B. I could bring home a C if they had seen me studying all night, every night, going in early to ask for help, and working with a tutor. If I could pull the grade up to a B, it was less work than convincing them to accept the C. I understand kids not wanting to work and not being able to grasp how the decisions they make today affect their futures. I certainly didn't. Many of my choices changed the course of my life for better or worse in ways I couldn't even imagine, so I understand from their perspective the future is next week, not twenty-five years from now.

What I don't understand is what seems to be an increasing number of the current generation who are entirely content to be morons at worst, completely ignorant at best. They literally see no value in knowledge for the sake of being learned or educated. They don't see value in knowledge in order to be functional as adults. I don't know if its the Google syndrome, "Why bother to know anything, I can always google it . . ." mentality or just laziness, but it makes me crazy.

I find it especially hard to lose out on days teaching Lil Bit to bash my head against the brick wall that is my students. But today, it is halfway over. First semester is over! I have grades to finish and report cards to run, but it is finito! HOORAY!!!

I don't know that my husband and I have decided if I can stay home next year for sure or not, or if in this economy it just doesn't pay to walk away from a paying gig, but I can still look forward to three glorious months of peace and quiet. We're halfway home, baby girl, can't wait!