Saturday, January 1, 2011

Day 235: New Year

Phew, 2011 is here. With my MiL here, I woke up to a delicious breakfast casserole and mimosas, well cranberry juice mimosas. I made mine mostly cranberry. Then we were all lazy today. Just too tired to do anything.

After a nap, I did brace myself to fold some of Lil Bit's laundry. We have a fridge full of leftovers but were feeling too lazy to pull any of it out and turn it into meals, so I ordered pizza.

My MiL has been fussing over everyone all week. She's been cooking up a storm, fixing up a menu for New Year's and generally keeping us all fat and happy. Today is her birthday so she didn't want to have to cook. We spent the entire day in our pajamas, watching TV and slowly packing up Mom and Dadve to head home.

We gave Mom her birthday presents just before dinner: a grape spoon rest to match her grapes decorated kitchen, a silicone pie shield to protect her pie crusts. Then I had N give her a piece of paper. She opened it slowly, without her reading glasses squinting at it quizzically. On it was the description of a suite at a place called the Crow's Rest with the price marked out with the word Free. She was confused, so I said, "It's a room at a Bed-n-Breakfast to help you unwind after a long week of kids, babies, dogs, etc."

It was something I thought she would enjoy, but I wasn't prepared for her response. I watched her eyes well up, of course then I did too. She and I don't do everything the same. We have different styles about us, in some ways I wish I were more like her, and in some ways I like the way I do things, but we generally get along and enjoy spending some time together. We definitely both love my stepsons and my daughter and are over the moon about Chad.

The best present came earlier in the day when my husband got to call. We put him on speaker so everyone could talk to him. It was really nice to hear his voice and get to spend about an hour chatting. When he said good-bye, I got a little choked up. Then we put T on the phone and he started crying again. I could hear how much it broke Chad's heart to hear T getting so upset about missing his dad. There just isn't much we can do to heal the hurt of his being gone.

I hope he gets a chance to skype more often. I know that it meant a lot to the boys to see their dad. Lil Bit doesn't know the difference yet, but she recognizes his voice and grins every time he calls.

My life is going too quickly. I don't know what this year holds, but I more and more realize every day is precious, even pajama days, and I don't want to waste them on stupid stuff. I don't know if I will be able to let go of all of my worrying and strange need to organize to death, but I do have my evening routine down to 13 minutes, so at least I can spend the evenings where I really want to be, playing with my Lil Bit until my guy gets to be home with us. I don't want to wish the year away; it will go fast enough, but if I could wish my husband home sooner, that would be my wish for the New Year. His absence is felt profoundly today as I type surrounded by his children, having fallen asleep during a Santa movie, evidence of cakes and cookie crumbs and Christmas lights cheerfully decorating for a wee bit longer. A nearly perfect day, just went too fast and was missing someone too special for words.

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