Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Day 218: Ch-ch-ch-changes

A few months ago, I had this perfect baby who went straight to sleep when I put her into her crib. She played happily in her Jumperoo or on the floor. She was OK with me being across the room and yet loved when I would play with her. She was content and easy going. Everyone teased me about being SO lucky.

Well, that all changed a few weeks ago. And it has been a roller coaster. She has been all over the map since we went back to school, but I think it has been a confluence of events: separation anxiety, teething, change in routine, new developmental stages, and lastly a cold.

After a rough night, she woke up this morning at 6 a.m. and wanted to be up. Usually she sleeps until we leave. Yesterday, she slept until nine. Today, I thought we weren't going to make it out the door. She woke up just before my alarm and screamed and screamed. At first, she was relatively content with being in her Jenny jump-up. She sat slowly twirling, snot draining down her face, peacefully watching me get ready for school. Still in my underwear, hair still in curlers, Lil Bit lost it.

She started sobbing quietly. So I stopped getting ready. I changed her diaper, got her dressed for the day, and put her into her carseat so I could finish getting ready. I talked to her, carried her from room to room, sang to her. Despite my best efforts, she started purple crying. Nothing consoled her, except rocking her back and forth, which was unproductive towards me getting dressed.

I wonder what changed. One thing I noticed, was that she started pulling up. Maybe the unsteadiness of her feet, the shaky new heights from which she now views her world scares her and makes her seek comfort and reassurance. I don't know. I do know that when she changes, I change. And about the time I start getting it right, she'll do it again.

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