Day 233: 101st

This week one of my Military.com emails had an article with my husband's former unit in the title:

Deadly Year in Afghanistan Takes Toll on 101st Airborne.

When we met, he was stationed at Fort Campbell, Kentucky and part of the 101st Airborne division. It is a unit with a proud history and he was proud to be part of it. So I opened this article and read it, feeling both sad and blessed at the same time. They had 104 deaths in 2010 at the time of printing, the deadliest year in the unit's history since Vietnam. It was about 1 in 5 of the deaths in that conflict.

I can't believe how many soldiers have died there in 2010. I did a little research and found several soldiers died earlier this month in an IED attack. Several more from foreign service branches have died in just the past few days. As a military wife, I feel more connected to any soldier's death than the general population might. Yet, with the 101st, I can picture the base, the majestic deer, the rolling fog and hills. None of the names of the soldiers were familiar, but somehow I feel more connected to them because they were stationed at the post I considered my first army home.

I feel blessed because Chad could have been stationed there still. If his ex-wife hadn't moved to Oklahoma, and Chad hadn't requested a transfer to Texas to be closer to them, he might still be in the 101st. So many of the recent deaths were from Chad's former division and a few were from the 4th Infantry Division, his next division. While his time in the 3rd Armored Cavalry Division has had its ups and downs, it may be what has saved his life so far.

We know, as just proved this week, he is in danger where he is. However, it seems like the danger is greater in Afghanistan where his two former units are. It feels selfish to be happy that my husband isn't one of the casualties, but it has to be normal to feel that way, too.

My heart aches for the families of all the soldiers killed anywhere anytime. The 101st soldiers just bring home the war and deaths to me. We are not quite five months into this deployment, and I worry about his coming home every day. Military wives live with death hanging over our heads in a very real way every day. We don't really get to take our spouses for granted, which is both a blessing and a curse. We know to treasure them, but also live with a big countdown clock ticking overhead all the time.